How guilt is ruining your business

“In my family,” she explained, “the only thing worse than laziness was gonorrhea.”

I lost it.

I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard in ages and Georgine just shrugged. Amazingly, I could relate. Coming from a family that was all about achievement, I understand the sentiment.

People who know my nuclear family don’t often ask “how did you get into systems?” because they’ve watched my parents execute Thanksgiving dinner for 60 people, organize week long tours for the antique car club, and build a house with an army of teenagers in Tijuana in just a few days with zero notice or plans.

Planning is in my blood.

Working hard is our normal state of being.

Which is why, as with many entrepreneurs, I’m extremely driven AND find it all that much harder to relax.

You might not have this hang up. Perhaps you have no problem taking vacations and balancing work with life. Good for you. You’re done. Go take a nap or something.

But for the rest of us…

There’s a conflict. When you feel the tug to create, educate and grow it can be at odds with the very human need to rest and recharge.

There are a thousand articles about stress, the amazing power of naps, and how to keep balance, but I want to talk about guilt.

The guilt you might feel when you have an afternoon off or don’t check your email on a Sunday. Guilt creeps in when you want to catch a movie and see an article about the success of a friend, colleague or competitor.

And everywhere there seems to be the lists of what successful entrepreneurs do and don’t do.

I don’t know about you but those articles make me tired. We’ve got to stop comparing and feeling guilty that our balance doesn’t look like Richard Branson’s life. That balance is different for me than it is you, it has to be.

To complicate matters, the balance we so narrowly find is disrupted again and again – add a new client, the beginning of school for your kids, moving, hosting an event… there’s always something that’s going to keep you shifting to find your balance again.

Which is why it’s so important to stop giving your energy to guilt.

I don’t have all the answers – when I’m the source of the guilt monster I just repeat “I will not feel guilty about taking care of myself” until I relax. But sometimes this guilt comes from other sources, as Georgine clearly demonstrated in her quip.

Eleanor Roosevelt famously said “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent” and I think guilt goes right along that vein. Be aware of the circumstances when others make you feel less than for your choices and find your own balance.

The more we can be confident and secure in our choices and stop defending or apologizing for them, the better people, and entrepreneurs, we will become.