Give, Give, Give, Ask

For many entrepreneurs, myself included, Facebook is a double edged sword of usefulness and wasteful content which can be amazing or overwhelming at any given moment.

If you’ve ever joined a community group you know how this can easily get out of hand with dozens or hundreds of people sharing their content, posting links to programs, giving advice, asking for help or generally standing around confused.

As a long time community manager I could give you an entire series on etiquette and management of such groups but instead I’m going to distill it all down into one practice that everyone should be adhere to without fail.

Give three times more than you take

It’s the age old concept of “leave a penny, take a penny” applied to information. For one, no one needs more blog posts to read, ebooks to hoard or programs to sort through.

I could, quite literally, retire today and spend the rest of my long life going through content downloaded from the internet. And I’m a fast reader.

The problem with online communities is that it’s always out of balance – some people are there to take, take, take and others will naturally fill the void out of kindness and generosity. But instead of being concerned about making everything “fair” instead focus on how you interact.

For example, if you visit a particular group once a day aim to answer 3 questions before you submit 1. And on Facebook an answer doesn’t even need to be a highly insightful process or thought. It can simply be an encouraging word or “congratulations!”

Giving first establishes social capital

And oh so many books out there have covered this in full.

Want a great recommendation for one? –→ Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook: How to Tell Your Story in a Noisy Social World from Gary Vaynerchuk

I want to know why you’re giving. Is it to shore up credits in your virtual social bank account or out of genuine care? Consider this… when it’s your birthday and someone approaches you with a big smile and hands you a card or balloons or sinfully delicious cake accompanied with a hug and sincere “Happy Birthday!” it’s so much better than a grumpy, disgruntled “here, it’s your birthday” along with a blank card and whining.

No lie – I once ended a friendship over a balloon catapulted at my head and “my mom said I had to give you this” in high school. Trust me friends, it doesn’t feel good.

Advice follows the same logic. If you give encouragement or ideas or support from the authentic, good, caring part of yourself then it creates a real connection. People can feel when you are just going through the motions.

Asking allows a community to find balance

There can’t be a giver without a receiver so if your whole community is made up of people willing to help but no one will ask a question it’ll be weaker for it.

So step out there, ask for something that you would like feedback on or clarification for so others can support you in return.

Sometimes it’s difficult to be the first one to raise your hand. Do it anyway.

Sometimes you feel silly or stupid. That’s alright, we’re all learning as we go.

Sometimes it feels like you’re “above” everyone else and asking will bring you down a peg. ASK. Especially then. Because communities are not about the demigod on a pedestal dispensing advice like Zeus on high. Community is about strengthening each other so we all become better.

Action Step: Take stock of your online communities this week and consider which would benefit for your give and which would be supportive of an ask.

p.s. This article is my long, drawn out way to say “thank you!” for attending Tuesday’s webinar on How to Fire an Employee. The recording is up and available through January 31st if you missed it. We’ll continue to share more webinars like this one because I believe in giving 🙂