Because I’m Not Your B**ch

There’s a disturbing trend among business people, especially entrepreneurs and I need to say something here and now.

When you hire a contractor, consultant or even a part time employee, they are not your b~tch.

Back in the day when I worked 40 hours in an office, my soul being crushed daily by the banality of it all, my boss had every right to show up at my desk and say “stop doing that and start doing this.” She could direct me as such every day, every hour if she wanted. Because I was a full-time and dedicated employee, that was a benefit of our relationship.

However, most entrepreneurs are not dedicated to one client full time. So why are those clients treating them in the same way (and getting away with it!)? 

Here’s how it shows up:

“I don’t understand why you won’t answer this question for me right now, I paid you didn’t I?”

“Yeah, I know this is late getting to you, but if you can get it done by tomorrow morning that would be great! You’re the best!”

“I can only meet at this time and that time which might be 3am for you but it works best for me and that’s what matters.”

“Oh, I can’t make our meeting, it’s no big deal to reschedule (again), right? I want to get what I’m paying for!”

“OMG this is a rush, it’s really important to my business and I know you’re busy but you said you’d help with this and I need it now!”

Sound familiar?

Have you heard those things, cringed at the demanding tone or expectations of paying clients, and then done it anyway? Have you ever wanted to stand on your desk and scream “but I’m not your b~tch!!!” until the message sunk in?

If you’re like many entrepreneurs you understand how hard this is and after helping many clients navigate these murky waters I have some advice. First for the client…

1. We know you paid, trust us. Bringing up the fact that you’re a paying client is the equivalent of saying “I’m your boss!” but you’re not.

2. Contractors are not full time employees. Whatever the reality may be, contractors do not sit around all day waiting to jump to your aide. Most have other clients, personal projects, families, the need to sleep. Since you don’t pay for 24/7 access, don’t expect or demand it.

3. It’s okay to ask for reasonable turnaround times and find contractors who fit into your needs. Listen, if you’re a last minute person then you need to find a team who can accommodate that. But don’t expect your highly organized, structured VA with a half dozen other clients to drop all other responsibilities to cover your, uh, behind, because you can’t get it together. It’s unfair.

4. Realize that most of these issues can be resolved with clearer contracts and better communication. Or, just throw a fit, tell the world your VA was terrible and go on the search for a new bridge to burn. It’s your choice.

Now, to the entrepreneur who is dealing with this type of client (and may be currently feeling a bit smug):

1. It’s your fault. Yep, I said it. You’re the one who sets the rules and boundaries around working with you (or failed to), and if you have not made it clear when you answer emails, your turnaround time for projects or that you take weekends and bank holidays off, then it’s your fault.

2. You have to determine your boundaries, don’t just get upset when someone doesn’t read your mind. I’m very clear with my clients that I don’t do website HTML and coding work. Trust me, it wouldn’t be pretty. So there’s no surprise or upset feelings when that comes up.

3. These boundaries must be written down. I can’t just reference a conversation from 4 months ago and expect the client to remember details. Instead, all of these guidelines and boundaries are written down either in the contract or welcome packet. It’s much easier to reference and the client has clarity from day 1.

4. Stop whining and start making changes. You don’t have to wait to introduce these policies and preferences to new clients. Take a stand for your business RIGHT NOW and don’t whine about the things you’re not willing to change. It’s your life and business, so you get to make the decisions about when and how you work, what time you take off, and everything else. Don’t continue to do what isn’t working for you or makes you unhappy and cranky.

Now it’s your turn: how have clients expressed this to you in the past? What was your response? Did you want to scream “I’m not your b~tch” when they got pushy?