What Masks are You Wearing?

It’s funny how themes can come up in coaching sessions, and once I’ve had the same conversation with a few different clients I start to pay close attention to the nuances and generalities. Over the past few weeks, what has come up in several conversations is the concept of hiding. Sometimes it’s hiding from the numbers in your business and what they represent to you. The bonus session for my group program yesterday went deep into the metrics we need to look at every week and month, as well as the reasons why most of us don’t look at our own numbers.

Another related theme is that of authentically showing who you are both to clients and the world through your business. See, it’s easy to hide behind a mask and pretend that everything over here is just fine. That we have no problems or worries, that everything is always growing and advancing.

But for the businesses that play that game, I have to tell you, we’re not fooled. Does taking off the mask mean showing the good, the bad and the extremely ugly?

Not necessarily. Here’s the thing… there’s a pretty fine line between honesty and oversharing. Especially in a business where your brand is all about competence and trustworthiness, showcasing that you’re a disaster isn’t a great strategy. So how do you maintain an authentic and truthful business front without hiding behind the mask? Here are 3 tips:

1. Share about the Struggle when it’s done

Some people will disagree and they’re more than welcome to whine and complain about all their problems on their own blogs. But I hold to this principle because not only does it give you time to have an ending to the story but also perspective. What is the end of the world in the Summer may become a blessing in the Fall. What was a horrible decision that drove you to tears in 2013 may have opened up space for something amazing in 2014.

2. Present the Fact and the Emotion in Balance

Once again, when you’re in the moment of this thing, it’s easy to be overwrought in emotion. To be so upset or frustrated that you say and do things you’ll later regret. Instead, I recommend journaling during the struggle and reflecting in the sanity. Bring forth those emotions to share that yes, it’s scary sometimes and of course, everyone feels overwhelmed and wants to quit. You can validate those feelings and balance them with the perspective that time brings.

3. Never, never lie

For me lying includes half truths, white lies, exaggerations, hiding critical information and deliberate misleading to maintain an image. If you didn’t “cry tears of joy” then don’t tell people you did. If you weren’t “totally shocked to be nominated!” then don’t say so. I think lying to maintain the image that we want people to have of us is one of the most dangerous because whether you win or lose, you’ll lose. If you become successful being who you aren’t, then you’re trapped and will feel as if the fake version of yourself is the one everyone loves. And if you fail to achieve what you want with the fake you, it’s still hard to be authentic believing people will like you even less.

To some extent everyone wears a mask, and it’s okay to have some personal privacy. However, if you’re pretending that your income is much higher than it is, you need to be financially authentic and take off the Mask of Assumed Wealth. If your team is actually in shambles and you’re frustrated and frightened, then it’s time to be honest about your support and remove the Mask of Excellent Leader. Or maybe it’s time to admit that you don’t do everything for every client in your business and put down the Mask of Yes, I do it All.

Consider the masks you’re wearing in your own business and how you can be Authentically You both for your clients and yourself.